WSSQUID :: Xandra's Unchosen Games

Sierra Adventure Games That Xandra Could Have Chosen to be Part Of, and Why She Didn’t Choose Them:

King’s Quest: Already taken by her older brother.
Leisure Suit Larry: Close, but no banana. The only thing that makes her too “un-sexy” to be in this series is the fact that she has body hair on her face.
Police Quest: Two words: Guns and German Shepherds.
Quest For Glory: With a series as complex as this, there have to be a lot of reasons why Xandra didn’t want to be in this game. First, lions and cheetahs are natural enemies, so she probably wouldn’t get along well with the liontaurs, she would probably be chased halfway through the woods before she convinced the hero that she was “mostly” harmless, and she’d have quite a problem conversing with a blonde guy who supposedly has several hundred different names.
Gabriel Knight: As much as she likes mythology and the supernatural, she’d probably become the scapegoat for whatever happened to be going wrong with her “abnormal” physical appearance. Maybe a “were-cheetah?”
Phantasmagoria: Too scary.
Shivers: Same here.
Laura Bow: Might get arrested for indecent exposure. Also, her hair’s way too long for her to pass herself off as another flapper.
Mixed-Up Mother Goose: As crooked as she is, this cat doesn’t play no fiddle.
Ecoquest: Now this wouldn’t have been a bad choice, since her cheetah half is a threatened species, but her human half she would probably be a little too feminine for the kiddies.
Gold Rush!: Creating cheetahs for AGI is murder.
The Black Cauldron: Doesn’t enjoy movies, let alone games, that are based on books then twisted to such an extreme. The way this game distorted the books by Lloyd Alexander is comparable to remaking the original Star Wars with Leia having platinum blonde hair and a skin-tight jumpsuit.
Conquests of Camelot: The way her tastes run, she would probably be more at home in Monty Python and the Holy Grail than this game.
Conquests of the Longbow: She’d probably be more at home in the anthropomorphic Robin Hood that Disney made in the mid-20^th century than this game, with the way she’s drawn.
Pepper’s Adventure’s in Time: Lockjaw. End of story.
Freddy Pharkas, Frontier Pharmacist: Health hazard. There was no veterinarian in the game, and besides, who would she go to if she got sick anyway?? That’s one of the complications of being two separate species.
Torin’s Passage: Let’s face it: One svelte teenage girl in a topless brassiere is enough femininity for one kid’s game, even if it is written by Al Lowe. Plus, her “boyfriend” has already staked a claim here.
The Adventures of Willy Beamish: If Xandra hadn’t left for the SQ universe before now, she might’ve chosen this game, since her creator lives very close to the game’s writers, but it’s too late now. Besides, Xandra isn’t that much of a rule-breaker...
- Akril,
August 3, 2002
Back to main page

This site has been viewed 13531 times since January 27, 2005.